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Brometheus

Many years ago, according to the stories told by the people of swole, there lived two brothers who were not like other men, or like the gods and goddesses of Mount Broylmpus. The name of the elder of these brothers was Brometheus. Brometheus was always thinking of improving and setting new PRs. He wished to spread the word of improvement to the world. Brometheus did not want to live amongst the Gods of Iron on Mount Broylmpus. He was too busy for that. The gods were spending their time lifting, but their bodies were the only swole that could be seen. Each of gods was propelled by jealousy, pettily comparing PRs like high scores on a game, wishing to inflate their ego with each rep. However, Brometheus was planning how to make the world stronger and better than it had ever been before. So instead of living on Broylmpus, Brometheus went out amongst men to live with them and help them and he quickly noticed that they were no longer happy as they had been during the golden days when Bronos, the titan, was king. He found them living by the Crossfit and cardio. They were hunted by wild beasts, and while humans had strong hearts, they could not fight back. "If they only had Iron," said Brometheus to himself, "they could at least fight the beasts and make gains; and after a while they could learn to make their own Iron and build themselves “gymnasiums”. 


Without Iron, they are worse off than the weak privileged."Brometheus went boldly to Brodin and begged him to give Iron to the people, so that so they might be strong."I will not!" said Brodin, "Not one plate will I share with them! For if men had Iron they might become strong and wise like us, and after a while they would drive us out of our kingdom. Besides, Iron is a dangerous tool and they are too poor and ignorant to be trusted with it. It is better that we on Mount Broylmpus rule the world without threat so all can be happy."Brometheus didn't answer, but he had set his heart on helping mankind, and he did not give up. As he was walking by the seashore he found a sea snail. He saw that such a small soft creature, with steady determination could carry a heavy weight. He began a long journey to the top of Mount Broylmpus. "Mankind shall have Iron, despite what Brodin has decided," he said to himself. And with that thought, he snuck quietly into Brodin’s domain and stole two plates from Brodin’s own rack. Brometheus securely strapped the plates to his back and hurried back to his own land, carrying with him the precious plates on his back. When he reached home, he called some of the thin people from their caves and built a bench and rack for them He showed them the dead lift, squat, and bench press. He showed them the food with which to make gains. Men and women gathered round the rack and were happy and filled with new strength, and thankful to Brometheus for the wonderful gift which he had brought to them.One evening, Brodin gazed down from Mount Broylmpus and noticed men and women lifting happily in every village across the land. It did not take him long to realize that Brometheus had disobeyed him and given Iron to men. Brodin was very angry and ordered that Brometheus be pinned under the mightiest of bars. And there Brometheus stayed, thinking of the future, happy in the knowledge that he had given Iron to men. After some time, men and women of the earth were strong, and they were ‘mired across the land by man and beast alike. They decided to thank Brometheus at the heights of Brolympus. As the people ascended, they heard a most saddening noise just outside the Temple atop the mountain. It was their savior, Brometheus, held down by a bar so mighty that no man can lift it.

Brodin saw the humans climb the mountain, and was angered and jealous of the gains they acquired. He saw them gather around Brometheus. His prisoner would not have the luxury of company! As Brodin approached the unforgiving bench, he saw the humans gather themselves into two groups, one on each side of the bar. Brodin hid himself and chuckled to himself. Perhaps this will teach those humans not to tread in the domain of gods.

The humans approached the bar and gripped it. As they lifted, the bar began to bend, but the weights remained on the ground. Bromethus pushed upward, and slowly, the weights rose. The bar was lifted, inch by inch, but lo, it crashed to the ground. Undeterred, the humans and Brometheus lifted again, and again, but with each attempt, the bar was raised less and less. “Enough! I have seen enough!” Brodin himself emerged from his cover and strode toward the humans and prisoner. “Why do you wish to free this man? He has wronged the gods, and must suffer.”

“No he has not.” replied a young man. He was not as mighty as some of the others, but he still stood valiantly. “Brometheus has saved us. No longer do we cower and run from animals, but we fight them. We use our cardio not to run, but hunt. We have fullness about our hearts. We feel complete both physically and mentally. Our PRs may not be as mighty as yours of the other gods, but that is not what is important.”

“This concept confounds me” Brodin stated. “If not to lift the heaviest weight, then why lift?” The young man replied,

“To improve. It does not matter where you are, but how far you’ve come. The iron tests us and our dedication, our determination. We have grown more on the inside than the outside.”

The man turned and headed to the bar, and the rest followed suit. Brodin watched on as the humans attempted again to raise the bar. Failure was wrought on their faces, and Brodin turned to the heights of Brolympus, and saw in sadness the vanity of the other gods. His fear had been realized. The humans grew wise, and him a fool.He once again gazed on the humans’ struggle. The more he looked on, the more his heart felt…different. As if his heart had swollen to defy the constraints of his chest. Visibly shaken, Brodin approached the bar. The humans, so dedicated and focused, did not notice. With an exhale and mighty pull, the bar was raised higher and higher until Bromethius was able to excape.

Before Brometheus could thank the humans, Brodin stood and stared down and the humans and demigod. “Forgive me. I thought all was the Iron and body. But I have experienced a new PR. I am now aware of the transformations of the heart and mind, and they too cannot be denied. This unity. This consolidation of mind heart and body, shall henceforth be called Swole. Only with all three tenets shall one ascribe the title of Swole to themselves.” Brodin approached the not-yet-strong man. “You are twixt the worlds of weak and strong, but your mind and heart are truly mighty. Your state shall be known as trans-swole, and it will be honored, as those who wish to change their weak bodies to strong ones are truly righteous if their commitment to the Iron is true. Pray to me at the Iron Temple and I will bless your reps. Worship me with righteous meals and I will bless you with gains.  Wheymen.

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