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Lats' Prayer / "Swole Father" / Pater TurgorumEdit

Many versions of The Lats' Prayer have been revealed. Each version reveals its own wisdom.

Swolefather, who art in the iron temple,
swoled by thy frame.
thy swoledom come,
thy lifts be done,
in the deadlift as well as in the squat rack.
Give us this day our daily whey.
And forgive us our cheat days,
as we forgive those who swolehate.
And lead us not into cardio,
but deliver us from the elliptical.
For thine is the swoledom, the power clean, and the glute ham raise.
Forever and ever.
Wheymen.

discovered by br0bi

Swole father, whose arms be heavy,
Huge be thy frame.
Thy PR's come,
thy workouts done,
while gaining as well as cutting.
Give us this day a mighty dead(lift),
and forgive us our cheat days,
as we forgive those who curl in the squat rack.
And lead us not into "functional training",
but deliver us from weakness.
For thine is the squat, and the dead, and the bench,
forever and ever.
Brahmen.

discovered by Koleah

Beastly Brodin, who art in the squat rack,
Numerous be thy gains.
Thy reps come
Thy sets be done
On the bench as it is in the squat rack.
Give us this day our daily protein.
And correct us of our improper form,
As we correct them that round their backs among us.
And lead us not into laziness,
But deliver us from plateaus.
For thine is the deadlift, the power clean, and the squat,
For several times a week,
Wheymen.

discovered by gdroxor

Our father who art in Swolehalla, 
Hallowed whey thy name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in the temple of iron.
Give us this day our daily scoop of whey
And forgive us our failed reps,
As we forgive those who do not re-rack weights
May Brodin not lead us into temptation of cardio bunnies
But deliver us many gains
Wheymen.

provided by an unknown brodinist.

Hail Arnold
Full of Whey
The swole be with thee
Blessed art thou amongst brothers
and blessed are the gainz of our lord Brodin
Holy Arnold
Father of lifters
pray for our swolesters
Now and at the hour of our PR's
Wheymen

provided by an unknown brodinist.

Yeah buddy, who art now pumpin,
Poppin be thy veins.
Thy swole will come, thy lifts be done
On bench as they are on pec-dec.
Give us this day our low-carb bread
And forgive us our guest passes,
As we forgive those who curl in the squat rack.
And please lead us to striations,
But deliver us from rhabdo.
For thine is the fountain, the powercage, and the creatine for ever and ever.
Lightweight

provided by an unknown brodinist.

All-Spotter, who art in the Power Rack, 
Blessed be Thy Form, 
Thy Gainz come, 
Thy lifts be done 
from earth pressed up towards Swolehalla, 
Give us this day our daily Whey; 
and forgive us our failed reps
as we forgive those who swoleshame us; 
and lead us not into cardio, 
but deliver us from weakness. 
Wheymen

provided by an unknown brodinist.

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