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As was foretold in the most swolley of swolley texts praising he who is swolemighty, the supreme agent of Brocki will descend and prey upon even the most dedicated of Brodinists. It is said that this agent, known by some as the anti-Lift, was responsible for the downfall of the Brophets' John Lifts, Brohammad, Brozekiel, Bronald Schwarzenegger and many others. After deciphering the swoley texts, I have come to the conclusion that this agent is back again, disguised as a movement. The followers of Brocki have unleashed their abomination upon the world; known as CrossFit, the agents of Brocki claim that all things cardio shall bring promise of gains. The swolley texts warn of this unswolleyness in the ten bromandates which define the absolute truths of the 7 fold path to the Swole; five of the ten bromandates warn of the false bringer of gains known as cardio. Do not fall for such cheap ploys, such as "it's a lifestyle." These Brockinian agents want nothing more but to rob thy of the swolley blessings bestowed upon oneself by Brodin; therefore, erasing your spot into Brohalla.

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