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Amazing Gains

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LyricsEdit

Amazing Gainz, how sweet the lifts,

That grew a bro like me.

I once was weak but now am swole,

Was skinny, but now am huge.


T'was Gainz that taught my skin to stretch.

And Gainz, my stretch relieved.

How precious did those Gainz appear

The hour I first did lift.


Through many weak, fat and priv'leged,

I have already come;

'Tis Gainz that brought me safe thus far

and Gainz will lead me home.


Brodin has promised good to me.

His word my swole secures.

He will my bar and protein be,

As long as life endures.


Yea, when my squat and bench shall fail,

And mortal lifts shall cease,

I shall bellow an unholy wail,

but one more rep will squeeze.


When we've been here ten thousand curls,

Feeling the swole within our guns,

We've no less reps to lift in Brodin's praise

Than when we've first begun.


Amazing Gainz, how sweet the lifts,

That grew a bro like me.

I once was weak but now am swole,

Was skinny, but now am huge.


Revealed by GLeD


HistoryEdit

This hymn was written by Brawn Newton. The story goes that Brawn was a cruise ship captain ferrying the weak-privileged from Florida to Mexico when he had a revelation. One day, after almost dying of boredom at sea, Brawn recognized his own swolehate. He heeded Brodin's call to the Temple and to the Iron. On that day he became Swole of Heart and wrote the lyrics as a testament to the Gainz that Brodin had bestowed upon him.

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